To be Loved or Liked?

To Be Loved or Liked?

This is a thought I have been reflecting on for a bit. Stimulating conversations with other thought leaders has pushed me to ponder even deeper. One thing we all know though is this: we were created for Love but have been programmed for fear.

Looking at this even deeper, it appears that too often we settle to be "liked" more than loved. To be truly loved this requires a person see ALL of us. The Beautiful, The Dark, The Ugly and the Bright because these



pieces are in all of us, it'w what makes us brilliantly human! But this is incredibly frightening, and the fear of being "known" scares us so we settle to be "liked". But can we ever truly be liked if we have never truly been known?

To be  loved for who we are not a perception or expectation of us means we will then be also liked. We receive both in the end when we operate from and for Love. But too many of us (and I have been one) fall into the enticing trap of wanting to be liked. We will put on whichever mask someone wants us to be in order to feel accepted and not cause confrontation.... But soon we forget which one of the masks is truly us, we forget what our authentic face really looks like. And so our heart, the most beautiful and deepest part of ourself gets buried and lost. The process of healing becomes 1 of stripping away of one mask at a time, a beautifully painful process of remembrance. Remembering the man or woman we were purposefully created to be and who the world desperately needs us to be.

You see, to be liked means to conform to another person's opinion of us in an attempt to fit in their box. Sure we can hide the wounds and the dark side of ourselves, but they also never get to see the glimmering light of Love, Beauty, Power and Joy. For that is who we all are at our core.

To be Loved however means cracking ourselves wide open like a seed, and to many it looks like complete and utter destruction. But in order for a seed to grow and prosper it must go through this seemingly painful process so it can grow up to be what it was planted for. Some seeds do it annually, others 1x in their life. No matter the process, there is a continual blossoming the same way this occurs in us.

Some seeds provide nourishment, others provide medicine, till others provide shade from he blaring heat, others simply provide beauty. Our souls are drawn to beauty. Hence why sunsets that look like a myriad of glowing colors painted upon the evening sky takes our breath away. Or why the cherry blossoms set against the black drop of a blue sky brings a smile to our face. It reminds us of who we are and what we all were created and long for.

Is it better to be liked by many who never truly know who we are, or to be deeply, truly loved by few who know us at the depths of our soul? That is a question many are afraid to answer. And one I was afraid to face as a recovering people-pleaser. But I have decided to live my life releasing the need and desire to be liked. I look only to Love and be Loved now. What I have learned is the few amazing, life-giving people in my Life who know and Love me also like and enjoy me. Not just the parts of me that make them comfortable and don't challenge them, but ALL of me. And that has given me the freedom to be me, the ability to express the song within my heart the same way David wrote Psalms to God. Pure, beautiful, unfiltered expression. That is what we all crave but are so afraid to embrace.

And if that costs me the perception of being liked by many, rocking some boats and letting others expectations of me down then so be it. For I choose Love. Love Heals in the most simple and profound way.

I only have this one life, and what I do with it echoes in the next. I want to operate and discover the infinite and ever expanding depths of my soul. Who I am and the piece of God that I was created to reflect. I believe we have a Creator, and all of us are created in His/Her image, I do not wish to live my life taking the image of God in vain by living as a counterfeit. I want to shine brightly in all the Glory that He's placed within me. To operate from my authentic self. One thing I do know for certain is:  Every single life matters. Our choices determine which path and experiences our life takes, and that responsibility is ours and ours alone. The mistakes, victories, temporary defeats and glory.

Our life is a journey of remembering of who we are and a discovery of a power and beauty so consuming in us that it lights other souls on fire.